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Awakening the g-spot

clitoral orgasm clitoris female ejaculation g-spot gspot orgasm sexual pleasure skene's gland yin yoni massage Feb 22, 2022
Photo by Emma Li from Pexels
by: Emily Davies
The g-spot is a space of wild pleasure potentiality, and stimulation of this area can result in female ejaculation.
Often we have to work with the emotional and physical barriers in order to allow that beautiful damn to let down its walls.
If the sensation feels like "too much," or comes with a fear of urinating, some vagina-owners may feel inhibited to the exploration of this sacred spot.
But, ladies & vagina-owners, I encourage you to go forth and try it!
Note: you can lay down a folded towel and explore that let-down feeling
And for those who are new to this spot, or have felt inhibited by the reasons I listed (or more), I highly HIGHLY recommend a very gentle exploration experiences - more like a massage - without any focus on a goal.
Simply focus on what you feel, and try to relax as much as possible.
While it is certainly possible to forcefully elicit an ejaculation response (and can be fun) the route of slow & steady stroking may result in a more ecstatic pleasure that can ripple through the entire body.
In my opinion, g-spot orgasms and female ejaculation result in a feeling equivalent to taking a Xanax. It's as if all the stress just melts out of my entire body.
If you're new to g-spot exploration, or want to understand more about this sacred spot, read on.
What is the g-spot
The G-spot is a highly sensational space on the anterior wall of the vagina (towards the belly). The spot is the place we feel the pleasure, and, anatomically, the area surrounding the Skene's gland. This gland is the female equivalent to a (male) prostate. This spongy gland wraps around the inner urethral tube.
G-spot is short for Gräfenburg Spot. Credited to the German physician, Ernest Gräfenburg who "wrote about its existence in the 1950s." (quote from Wikipedia) Thanks, Dr. G - we needed that validation! In all seriousness though, some of us do.
Source: Google images
Where is it located
The G-spot is located about 1-3" inside of the anterior vaginal wall. And, in my experience, the spot where the most sensation is experienced is not static - it can move around a bit.
Sensation building with the clitoris
While stimulation of this area may feel rather intense, an orgasm experienced by g-spot stimulation can feel climactic but not always as sensational as a clitoral orgasm.
However, it is possible to use the clitoris to build pleasure pathways to the g-spot.
Stroking the g-spot while simultaneously stimulating the clitoris will help to build the pleasure pathways.
This will eventually result in a VERY sensational climactic feeling.
It’s double yummy because you get the clitoral orgasm + the climactic letting-go feeling that comes with the g-spot climax.
You can also do this paired stroking of the clitoris with the nipples, throat... anywhere!
Tips for diving into g-spot exploration
If you’re new to g-spot exploration, consider it exactly that - an exploration.
Remove the pressure of time, outcome, or what it looks like. 
Spend at least 20 minutes gently massaging around- maybe up to 120 minutes (with some rest).
We hold deep emotion in this space of the body, so it's important to allow this sacred spot to open slowly - even over several exploration sessions.
It's too intense!
Sometimes the sensation is too intense to sustain a massage or stimulation.
In that case, begin by massaging the back & side walls of the Yoni before even touching the g-spot...
Try to soften, relax and RECEIVE - just like you would if you were receiving a massage.
Fear is coming up
As you start to explore the g-spot, you may feel a strong urge to urinate or to pull back.
This can actually even be semi-painful because of tension.
Notice the feeling of constriction in that spot and in other areas of the body.
Constriction is a self-protective reflex. What are protecting yourself from?
Often that sensation comes with the fear of letting go.
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, fear is stored in the bladder.
Since the g-spot (Skene’s gland) is wrapped around the inner urethra - bladder area, this makes sense that we would feel fear in this stroke if we have unprocessed fear in our bodies (from life-stuff).
If you are actually safe and fear is unwarranted in the moment, I recommend laying down a towel and continuing to explore!
Intuitively and gently finding your own edges of fear -> faith.
I have a personal story to share here about fear that may be helpful (I've added this to the bottom of the blog).
Strokes to explore
You might enjoy trying these strokes on the g-spot:
  • come-here stroke - this is where the fingers are used in a traditional stroking form, like when you use the hand gesture to tell someone to come here (try it - palm up, two or three fingers)
  • the side to side - use your fingers to swipe across the sensitive area side to side
  • the pump press - this is like pressing in and letting off, press + release (you may be able to feel the spongy tissue filling with fluid)
  • the circular - a fluid movement; a massage like stroke

 Work with the inner (emotional) self

As you explore, see what emotional release you need in order to let go & open up.

This spot is the doorway to the deepest feeling of letting go.
It's our pathway to emptiness (in the Buddhist sense - empty of all of our emotional mental baggage).
Laughter, sighs, tears, fears - let it express itself out through your throat.
You are the voice of you Yoni, your womb, your pleasure & pain.
In order to hear your pleasure, you must also listen to your pain.
Surrender the ego.
Don’t worry about what this emotional sensational expression looks like or sounds like - try not to judge yourself in any way (aka - get out of your own way).
If you feel embarrassed or self-conscious, just acknowledge the feeling and let it move on.
Try to resist auto-pilot vocal sounds, as these come from the top-down (the mind, the roles we play, the stories).
Allow the sounds to come from the bottom up.
Working with the clitoris
The clitoris is right there, close by, and is connected to the g-spot through internal nerve networks.
Pull back the hood of the clitoris and, using lube, gently stroke the glans as your g-spot is stroked.
Stroke down the vulva, feel the entire organ of the clitoris opening up.
You &/or your partner will build strong dexterity over time.
The yin essence
In the east, yin is the inward spiral.
Deep, potential energy, watery.
Working with these internal sex organs can feel different than stroking the external sex organs like the penis, or even the clitoris.
Breathe & receive.
Your unique rhythm
Over time, you’ll find the rhythm of this inner ocean.
Work WITH it.
You’ll find the right stroke, the right pace...
Feel the waters rise.
What is this fluid?!
The incredible feminine arts teacher and medical doctor, Saida Desilets, wrote an article explaining this ambrosia (the nectar produced by the body that comes out during female ejaculation).
"There are a few results based on modern research demonstrating the physiological reason for the
creation of the ambrosia (female ejaculation) The first of which shows that the urethral sponge (the erectile tissue
surrounding the urethra which swells upon sexual excitement) is in part responsible for creating this nectar. “Female ejaculation comes from up to 30 or more tiny glands embedded in the urethral sponge, the tube of spongy erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra”. Stimulation of the woman’s g-spot activates these ducts to secrete a fluid, just as massage of the male g-spot (prostate) also causes prostate fluid to be secreted. “The g-spot in women is analogous to the prostate in men, like the prostate, the g-spot can produce a fluid-like semen (but not as viscous) which may be released on orgasm.” (Dr. G. Schubach Ed.D, A.C.S, see above link). The second result demonstrates that the kidneys are activated to release a non-urine substance into the bladder itself. “The clear inference was that the expelled fluid is an altered form of urine, meaning that there appears to be a process that goes on during sensual or sexual stimulation and excitement that effects the chemical composition of urine ... lose the appearance and smell of urine due to the secretion of the hormone aldosterone....” (Dr. G. Shubach, http// "
Ancient Art of Female Ejaculation - Saida Desilets
This article was originally published on the website, but appears to be no longer available.
Stay the course
The damn may burst & result in a massive feeling of letting go, letting down, opening up.
It can feel like a complete loss of control.
Working with your body... stay the course.
If you can handle it... keep going.
G-spot climax doesn’t have to be a one and done.
The well is deep.
The ocean is deep.
May you find your yin flow 
My personal story of finding - then losing - then finding my g-spot pleasure:
My lover and I spent at least a year in a strong exploratory g-spot phase.  I thought I had completely mastered the art of my own sexual surrender, as I could move from fear of letting go to faith in surrender pretty quickly - and have what seemed like an endless well of g-spot release. However, during the pandemic lock-down (and essentially all of 2020) I couldn't enjoy g-spot stimulation because it was too intense/painful AND I was in such an emotionally pent-up state. I was having trouble trusting my partner. I was worried about issues of survival and my tribe and the world. I was worried for my family.
This took an immense impact on my g-spot.
Eventually, I mentally opened back up to the connection with my partner and decided I was ready to go towards this fear. Then we worked on that physically. During yoni massage & g-pot exploration, I would work on feeling the trust & connection that I knew was underneath the fear & worry, at the same time as releasing anything (emotionally) that was in the way of that.  It worked over time - and my connection & surrender is restored - yay!! And... I imagine this could happen again in a new way and from new circumstances because that is the flow of life.